Tuesday, December 19, 2006

My mother sent me the ancient family recipe for Fruitcake. Its never been out of the family until now. This is my Christmas present to you. Sorry for being away for so long.
Best wishes for a safe and glorious Holiday Season!
Follow the directions very carefully and you will have a successful venture.

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 T. lemon juice
2 cups nuts
1 gallon whiskey
1 cup of Ice
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the
whiskey again to be sure that it is of the very highest quality. Pour
1 level cup over the cup of ice and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric
mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still
okay. Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the
bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried
druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsnisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of
salt. Or something.
Who cares. Check the whiskey. Now sift some lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add a tooble spain of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don' t forget to
beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey
Go to bed.
Who likes fitcruke anyway?


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